New Year’s Resolutions for the NRA
CEO and President
National Gun Victims Action Council
We will stop referring to ourselves as a “civil rights” organization that defends “human rights.” It is a sacrilege to people actually killed or harmed by civil and human rights abuses.
We will stop blaming gun crime on “failure to enforce existing laws” and confess that it is our lobbying that has blocked sharing and computerizing of national firearm sales data so crimes cannot be solved. We also block weapon microstamping, further making sure the “bad guys” never get caught.
We admit that arming bad guys through such loose laws and then blaming armed “bad guys” for the need for more firearms is like killing your parents and crying you are an orphan.
We will admit background checks are a joke. Mass shooters Seung-Hui Cho (Virginia Tech), James Holmes (Aurora), Jared Loughner (Tucson), Aaron Alexis (Navy Yard), Paul Ciancia (LAX airport) and Stephen Phillip Kazmierczak (Northern Illinois University) sailed through them.
We will stop our obstruction of “one firearm a month” laws to stop straw buyers. Convicted grandmother-killer William Spengler used a straw buyer at Gander Mountain in Henrietta, NY to get the weapons he used to kill firefighters last Christmas Eve. Columbine shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold also used a straw buyer.
We will admit our contention that criminals will target homes because they believe there are no firearms or because they believe there are firearms is nonsensical. We will further admit that asking the same jack booted government we rail against to protect our identities so our neighbors don’t know about our firearms is contradictory and sniveling.
We will stop pretending our fear to go anywhere unarmed is somehow a public service and that we cop wannabes are the real law enforcers. We will admit our carrying does not protect others or ourselves and take a hard look at all the people–including elderly and 80 pound women–who go the same places we are afraid to go without weapons.
We will stop whipping up “preppers” and citizen army extremists into stockpiling bigger arsenals because jack booted government agents are about to storm their homes and disarm them. Though we love the melodrama of being “victims,” the 2008 Supreme Court decision District of Columbia v. Heller means that will never happen. Never. And if we are victims, we’re the best armed victims in the history of the world.
We will stop our compulsive firearms talk about clips, magazines and how a semiautomatic weapon shouldn’t be considered an assault weapon. Though the blather is designed to reveal how the public is too ignorant about firearms to understand laws, the truth is we get buzzed just talking about weapons. Yes, it’s a fetish.
Finally, we will retire our shopworn “guns don’t kill people, people kill people” slogan and our mantra that gun laws won’t stop the bad guys and mentally disturbed people. Mentally ill people are everywhere, like a man in China who attacked over 20 school children on the same day as the Sandy Hook massacre. Because he had a knife and not a rapid fire weapon, the children did not die and 40 parents in China still have their loved ones. Unlike in Newtown.
Are you DONE ASKING for sane gun laws? Force them! Join the thousands making the TELL AND COMPEL™ pledge.